SELF LOVE WHEN MANIFESTING
Let's talk about love! I know, I know. We are almost a month out from Valentine's Day, and we're just now talking about love. One of the recent PLANTED podcast episodes about manifesting love – specifically manifesting the perfect partner- inspired this post. When we think about our perfect romantic partner, we typically think of traits we would like our partner to have based on what we think we want and lose sight of self in the process.
Let me explain. When I first heard about the concept of making a list of things you want in your perfect partner, I was all about it. You're telling me I can make a list of the person I want, Then, I can use that list to manifest that person? Of course! Who wouldn't want to do that? I pulled together a list of traits – height, body type, educational background, characteristics that complimented me – you get the idea. I was building my perfect partner. I received exactly what I asked for …and it was a bit of a crap show lol. He was exactly what I did not need.
LEADING WITH YOURSELF
How could this be true? I made a list based on what I thought I needed, not based on myself. I did not take the time to get to know myself before making that first list. I made assumptions of what I would need based on what the person would look like next to me, the type of person whom I thought I should be with based on what others thought of me (let that sink in), and a bunch of nice-to-haves. Then, I met him and realized what I asked for was not what I needed. He was nice but not for me.
After the first list attempt, I stopped with the list and manifesting a partner. Although I got what I asked for, I was convinced this “manifesting the perfect partner” thing did not work. Surely, I was missing something or doing something wrong. After listening to other's stories, I realized I wasn't manifesting wrong, but I was missing something (or, rather someone) – me! I did not consider my authentic self – my soul. My soul didn't require a 6'4 Michael B. Jordan look alike – although it would be nice. lol
LEADING WITH YOURSELF
Now that I've taken some time to get to know myself. I am giving manifesting love another try. This time acknowledging the power I have to create my own reality and being a little more careful in what I am asking for. As Momma Paige says on the podcast, "Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it."
Here are the tips I am taking into this new season of manifesting love to make sure I keep myself at the center:
Make a list based on you: Instead of starting with a list of traits you want in a partner, start with a list of whom you want to be in 1 year, 2 years, 3 years. The type of person you not only want to be but are working towards being. Keeping in mind your authentic self, what you believe your path is in life, and your goals. Next to your list, make a list of the type of partner you will need based on the list you created for yourself. If you want to exude joy and peace, you might want a partner who values joy and peace and keeps the positive energy flowing. In starting your list based on you, it will be more about becoming the person you want to be and allowing the perfect person to be attracted to you instead of searching for the perfect person.
Understanding 80/20: You don't have to leave the nice to have's off the list altogether. Just understand the difference between what's actually needed and what's a "nice to have". This is sometimes referred to as the 80/20 rule. 6'4 might be a "nice to have", but is it needed? Would you be willing to pass up someone who has everything else on your list because they are 5'11? The height doesn’t always impact the person or the soul. Remember, the goal is to manifest what is good for the soul.
Leave doubt and need out of it: This is key in manifesting anything – leave doubt at the door and don't come from a place of need. This is also true for manifesting love. Set your intentions and stick to them. When you are coming from a place of self (see Tip 1), it is easier to remain clear on your intentions. Don't get discouraged if things aren't happening as quickly as you'd like; instead, stay focused on yourself, knowing that you are on the right path and remaining open.
Be open to what might come: Be open to how love will manifest in your life. Not all love stories are packaged with a pretty bow, but they are all beautiful. Be open to creating and enjoying your love story. That story will someday inspire others to be open to love while living in their authentic self and embracing their own path.
If you join me on this journey of manifesting love, I hope this post helps you and provides clarity for your practices. If you need a little inspiration, head over to PLANTED to listen to Mama Paige's experience in manifesting love. Spoiler Alert: It worked! Mama & Papa Paige are my personal couple goals!
